the Dangerous Shirt

The Dangerous Shirt by Alberto Alvaro Rios   2009

picture of ironing as an extreme sport found at: https://slightlychristopher.com/2011/01/25/christopher-columbus-wrinkles-addiction/

the Choice:  A POEM!!! and why not use a poem. I'm cheating a bit because I read this one years ago but it is still one of my favourites. And even if you believe you don't understand poetry... this one makes you think.

the reader in me:  You can read the poem at: https://cimarronreview.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/164rios.pdf and discover more of his poetry in his book of the same name. Alberto tells of his fears surrounding life. Unfortunately he blames his freshly ironed shirt for his inability stay home on the couch. Don't we all wish we could avoid daily frustrations?

the critic in me:  I guess I have nothing but praise for this thought provoking writing - otherwise I wouldn't keep trying to flog this poem to all my friends. I even have it hanging in my husband's cupboard - but here, it is more of a poke to remind him of the effort I have made to provide those ironed shirts.

the writer in me:  earlier this spring at a writing workshop we were asked to take a favourite poem and using the same style, try to write something autobiographical. Of course I had to use the poem by Rios, and below is my personal interpretation. For years I've tried to portray the frustration experienced, living with diabetes. Here, I look back at the old-school method of urine testing I used as a teenager. But don't believe that it's any easier in 2017.

This book inspired me: 

The guilt in my pee cup

The balance of Diabetes is frustrating

I shouldn’t have eaten the cookie

Because of that cookie, I will walk

If I walk, I need to test

I test my sugar levels

to be congratulated for my efforts -

Balancing food with exercise,

with insulin

Because I walk

I will not be sorry I ate the cookie

Unless… Unless the sugar

 in my pee cup shows I am wrong

Regulating the constant balance

I will not want Failure

after all the hard work

…following the hourly rules and routines

So if one hour, or one day,

my pee test is flawless

I will believe my constant vigilance is worthwhile

I will want to be obedient

I will continue the endless task of

pushing the arrogant boulder

Up the unpredictable mountain

again and again

Because what else can I do?

If I can’t attain the symmetry

of meals and activity and

units of insulin

- all properly timed

I am the one who feels at fault

So if I try, that’s it –

Shake your head for me, and think

What is she doing wrong?

too high,

then too low

the blame for imbalance never resolved

I will continue to store it

And pour it around me

the shame in my pee cup – overflows

Always, every moment, failure

so frustrating